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Betydelsefullt fullborda parrelationen forut ett stabilt foraldrasamarbete

Betydelsefullt fullborda parrelationen forut ett stabilt foraldrasamarbete

For att det ska vara mojligt att uveckla ett stabilt foraldrasamarbete kring barnet ovan tid ar det bra att bryta den fordom parrelationen.

Det gor det lattare att byte fokus och anlagga ett nytt sorts samverkan som handlar om barnets behov och kanslor och mindre om foraldrars egna behov och intressen.

Det kan plocka tid att skrida vidare

Det forsta steget mot ett valfungerande foraldrateam ar att fardigstalla er parrelation. Ar du chockad, arg eller i bedrovelse ovanfor skilsmassan hjalper det att anordna delad det som hant er som par fran ert foraldraskap. Den som lamnar relationen kan redan ha kopplat ifran karleksrelationen fran foraldraskapet. For den som upplever separationen som en chock tar processen langre tid.

Att behandla och slam ett uppbrott kan vara ett fjarran sorgearbete. Det gar vanligtvis gallande tvars kontra de snabba idealen i vart samhalle. ”Vada, har du inte gatt vidare an?” fragar nagon efter ett halvar och forvantar sig en rolig singelkompis att skrida ut och fira med. Psykisk smarta och psykologiska lakningsprocesser kan leva inom oss i otaliga ar och kan inte stressas kungen. Men under tiden behover vi hitta ett fungerande foraldraskap for barnets leva kan ju inte sattas gallande paus.

Tank dig par parallella spar

Pro att ga framat kan du grubbla kungen er relation som tva rals, ett foraldra- och ett parspar. I parsparet hamnar kanslorna som ror ditt ex som karlekspartner, i foraldrasparet laggs det som galler din medforalder. De tva sparen inneha olika kommunikationsvagar, ton och innehall. Parsparet ar den segment fran relationen som du sorjer och bearbetar. Foraldrasparet ska ni bi behalla och forbattra och har ska den tankande hjarnan rekommendera. Det ska inte anvandas som forevandning forut att anlanda at en person som sarat dig eller pro att alta oforratter och svek. Foraldrateamet utgar fran barnets basta och ska byggas runtom barnet. Det amerikanska uttrycket ”when they go low, we go high” sammanfattar en synsatt som utfor foraldrateamet strongt. Fason en vorda i att framtrada schysst samt nar din medforalder ej formar att anordna ihop.

Undvik triggers

Forut att inte fastna i kanslorna som hor till er parrelation kan det mildra att avstyra triggers. Har ar forstas kontakten med din medforalder en nyckel. Det ar bra att skapa en forutsagbar, neutral och korrekt kontakt.

Valmenande kompisar och slaktingar kan onska plocka ditt omgang och intyga hur dalig du inneha blivit behandlad. Ifall du sager att du forstar deras hansyn men att du tvingas verka pa lojaliteten till din medforalder, sa kan de uppfatta vilket support du behover.

Att spa jobbiga situationer ar aven till bistand. Fester och middagar dar du ar den enda singeln kissbrides.com nГ¤sta kan fa dig att uppleva dig lamnad. Nog vill du ha en ”avkylningsperiod” innan du aterupptar den delen av ditt sociala leva.

Kidsen kan ocksa upptanda de arme kanslorna. Kidsen langtar efter sin andra foralder och vagrar att samarbeta sa flinkt nagonting blir det minsta stressigt. I och med dessa situationer ar ofrankomliga kan en befrielse besta att pa forhand filosofera ut vad du amna framfora och skapa. For att hantera situationen och bli mindre kanslomassigt pressad kan du traning. Andvand fraser som ”jag vet att du langtar efter fader och i morgon amna du fa ses honom och ha det mysigt. Men genast amna sjalv prova trosta dig”. Eller ”ja, mamma ar massor battre kungen att handla flator. Genast inneha ju du och sjalv ett traningslager for det”.

Betydelsen av forlatelse

Forlatelse koper om ar att dumpa taget och lagga don bortom sig, och i stallet agna sin energi at nuet och framtiden. Darfor ar det i grunden en egocentrisk process att forlata sitt ex, darfor att det hjalper dig att koppla loss och ga framat.

Forlatelse kan verka praktiskt och onskvart att strava efter men kan ej skyndas fram. Forlatelse kraver att vi sorjer och altar vara upplevelser, sa att de inte langre smartar eller belastar oss. Det koper mindre ifall att sannerligen knysta ”jag forlater dig” an ifall att sjalv komma till ro med det som hant.

Forlatelse innebara ej heller att man ursaktar ett uppforande. Man kan forlata, kanske pro att man inser att den andra inte kunde battre, madde knas eller varje omogen, samt ifall man ej ursaktar logner, otrohet eller svek.

Klocka ert barns perspektiv ar forlatelsen gynnsam alldenstund den skapar lugn i dig och i ditt karleksforbindelse till den andra foraldern. Men forlatelseprocessen handlar om er parrelation och ar inte betydande for barnet. Ett fungerande saet bygger ej pa att ni forlatit eller ursaktar varandra. Det koper i stallet om att ni har skilt ut foraldraskapet fran er parrelation.

Styrkan i att kunna forlata sig sjalv

Att forlata nagon annan kan besta marigt, men forut en segment av oss ar det svarast att forlata oss sjalva. Det ar vanligt att vi i turbulensen rakar knysta och handla sadant som vi senare angrar. Ha talamod med dig sjalv i detta! Du ar blott en individ och gar genom en svar period. Att reagera barnsligt och egoistiskt nar man ar i kris ar manskligt och sager ingenting om vem du ar pa djupet. Det betyder inte att du gallande sikt kommer att rulla pa en identiska lag niva. Det viktiga ar inte heller vilka enskilda foremal du har sagt eller gjort, utan att du kan fundera kvar dem och hitta strategier forut att foreta olika framover.

Din och barnets relation ar ovanlig

Relaxa i att relationen till barnet ar sjusardeles. Det finns ingen annan relation dar du far oforandrad manga chanser att lagning, stalla till justera, be om ursakt och antrada ifall.

Foraldrar ar faktiskt blott folk (som forsoker!)

Foraldraskapet tillater oss att rakas i det jobbiga och darefter ga framat sammanlagt. Att falla dit aterigen. Nagon har sagt att det tar lika lang epok att bavan ut nagon klocka sitt liv som tiden man har levt sallskap. Parrelationer avslutas sallan likadan spikrakt i praktiken som i teorin. Slut betyder ej alltid helt slut. Foraldrar fortsatter att besta ICE i mobilerna och lagar mat och fixar bilen at varandra fjarran efter att de flyttat atskils. Vi ringer varandra nar det ar komplicerat och ligger med varandra trots att vi har gjort slut. Och ifall var medforalder traffar en ny partner far vi tvart forut oss att allting anda ej ar pro sent och vill overtraffa den nya. Vi pratar sallan ifall att separationsprocesser ser ut sa arme, men det ar faktiskt det vanliga. Men aven om processen vacklar sa kan ni knega pro att skapa ett stabilt foraldrateam.

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